What Goes Down, Must Come Back Up

Lately, I’ve been doing a lot of reflection on my life and its most recent events.  Looking back, this has been a year of great loss.  I have lost many of my abilities due to my health issues, and as a result, I have lost my sense of confidence and direction in life.  At the beginning of this year, I was dealing with chronic fatigue syndrome and fibromyalgia but it was very manageable and did not stop me from being in school, having a boyfriend, and keeping up with my friends.  Now, I am at home where I only have one friend, have been dumped, and have the hobbies and activity level of someone in their 70’s rather than someone in their 20’s.  I sleep the majority of the day, knit, and have even taken up watching Jeopardy and Wheel of Fortune every night with my parents.  In addition, I have had two very traumatic trips to the hospital due to fainting spells.  I’m hoping to go back to school for next semester but nothing with me is ever certain.  So where do I go from here?

Well, what I’ve concluded is that the only direction is up.  I have been thoroughly cast scanned and MRIed (yes, these are verbs in my book) and it has been concluded by several members of the medical community that I am not dying.  This fact alone eliminates any further surprises.  Other than that, I know for certain that my friends (though they may be long distance) and my family aren’t going anywhere.  While I don’t do much every day and I don’t have much of a direction, I’ve learned to believe this is only temporary.  And as far as my health is concerned, I have a new doctor and am going to defer to his suggestions.  All I can do in the meantime is focus on minimizing my anxiety and stress level.  I can’t predict the future and trying to only leads to fear. 

I guess what I’m really trying to say is that I need to live in the present and take each day as it comes.  When I feel sad, I will let myself feel sad.  When I feel tired, I will sleep.  And when I am in pain, well … they actually make pills for that!  And while at times this seems like a pretty pointless existence, it is only a temporary state. Though gradual, I do see improvements in my health and I know from past experience that my illnesses tend to peak and plateau.  If nothing else, I am living to see this thing through and find out what the future holds.  I do believe that there must be some purpose to all this suffering and that whatever/whoever is out there (g-d or whatever you believe in) isn’t just being cruel and making an example out of me for no reason.  I might hold the key to some answers or at least be able to guide someone else through a similar experience someday, who knows?

Questions to Consider:

What keeps you sane?

How do you deal with times when you are homebound?

How do you confront loss?

Tricks and Treats!

Ok everyone, I know this title is a bit cheesy but it’s just about Halloween so I decided to have a little fun.  The following is a list of tricks and treats I’ve discovered for making living with a chronic illness a bit more tolerable:

Tricks:

Pacing and Routine: To avoid overdoing it on your good days and subsequently crashing, try to establish a routine (with flexibility) that keeps you going at an even pace.  Work on establishing a steady wake up time and bedtime so that your body follows a natural rhythm.  Know your peak hours of the day and schedule activities for then.  Also, realize your limitations and allow yourself to take naps when needed.

Don’t feel guilty: This is a hard one but try not to beat yourself up about having to cancel plans, takes naps, or take days off of work, school, etc.  You didn’t choose to have a chronic illness but you do have a choice whether or not you are going to make your self feel guilty about it. 

Listen to your body: Be in tune with your abilities and needs.  When you feel you are able to push a bit, go for it.  When you need a break, take it.

Keep prescriptions up-to-date: Many pharmacies have online applications that help save on time and allow you to see when your next refills are available.  I use walgreens.com. 

Have an arsenal of over the counter medications on hand: These things include pain relievers (Tylenol, Ibupropen, Aleve etc.), stomach soothing agents (TUMS and Pepto Bismol are my personal favorites), allergy medications (for me that means Benadryl for allergic reactions and Zyrtec for seasonal allergies), and cold medications (I have found that the winning combination is Sudafed during the day and Nyquil at night).  The last thing you want to do when you feel sick is have to run to the pharmacy or have to deal with getting someone to do it for you. 

Treats:

Take a warm bath:

Pour in 2 cups of Epsom salt (aka: magnesium sulfate) which helps to draw toxins from the body, sedate the nervous system, and relax muscles

Light a candle (scentless if you have sensitivities)

Sit back and relax!

Use a heated should wrap: I bought mine at Whole Foods (link is "My Favorite Things" section) and it is my new best friend.  I place it in the microwave for 2 minutes (might vary with different microwaves) and use it to soothe neck and shoulder pain.  Also, I sometimes just place it on my stomach for a warm relaxing feeling.  The fact that it doesn’t plug in means you don’t have to worry about falling asleep with it.

Wear slippers: I don’t know what it is about slippers but they are super comfy and help to regulate my body temperature, which is constantly all over the place.

 

Drink herbal tea: Sipping on something warm with potential benefits of antioxidants, relaxation, or weight loss (depending on the type) always seems to make my day a little better. 

Keep good movies and reading material on hand: On bad days a hilarious movie always perks me up or a good book helps take me to another world. 

After writing this list I think that all people, chronically ill or not, could benefit from these ideas. 

Question to consider:

What tricks or treats would you add to the list?